Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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