I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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