she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
