I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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