Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize