Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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