I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
