You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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