you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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