i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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