so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
