On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i now understand why vodka
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
