Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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