the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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