East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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