He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
