Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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