I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
