69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
