I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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