if you like me you must not know who I am
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
