I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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