butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
