i permit you to call me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it glows. i had to have it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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