i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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