i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
