Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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