So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
