I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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