So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Randomize
