Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
