I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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