I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
