ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
