wanna go halves on a baby?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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