3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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