It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
