have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
