I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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