you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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