its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
