yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize