...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
