This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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