You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
