I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
