I am puke
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
