i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
