he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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