Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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