I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
