she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
