I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
