it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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