Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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