sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
