drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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