Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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