I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do vagina's smell?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
