I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
