I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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