Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize