Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
