She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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