His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
