she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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