PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
