I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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